


They ought to give my heart a medal for letting go of you

by Adellle



Series: Waiting on a miracle [1]
Category: The Devil Wears Prada (2006)
Genre: Angst!, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-22
Updated: 2018-03-06
Packaged: 2019-01-21 07:25:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12452505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adellle/pseuds/Adellle
Summary: Miranda makes a deal with the devil...





	1. Chapter 1

"I can't believe you're doing this!" Andy closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She needed to keep a level head for this conversation. She took Miranda's hand in her own and pulled the older woman closer. "Please, Miranda, this is absurd. Can we talk about this?"

"What more is there to say? I've said my piece." The editor let go of Andy's hand and made her way to the bedroom.

"You've said your piece?! Your piece!?" Calm wasn't working for Andy. "You're ending our relationship without so much as an explanation and you think I'll just roll over and accept it! I'm not your fucking assistant anymore, Miranda! I deserve more than that, we deserve more than that!"

Andy tried not to flinch when Miranda rounded on her.

"Just stop! Can you not comprehend how difficult this is?! Andrea, not everything is as black and white as you believe it to be. You are still young, you will learn this soon enough".

"Oh go fuck yourself, Miranda! Stop patronizing me, and just tell me why you're ending a nine-month relationship without so much as a warning. What happened? We made love mere hours ago and now you're breaking up with me?! It doesn't add up. What happened at work today?"

The anger faded from the older woman's face but she was trembling, running a shaking hand through her hair. "Andrea, I just don't have the strength for it anymore - the secrecy, the hiding, the fear of being outed. I can't do it anymore, it's too much." 

Andy couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"So, let's not hide anymore! Let me take you out and we'll show the world how much we mean to each other. I'll call Rupert Murdoch if needs be! Please, let's just talk about this." Andy hated how desperate she sounded.

Miranda's face contorted with pain and something unreadable to Andy. "I'm sorry, Andrea, there's nothing more to say. We knew this would't last, didn't we? We were doomed from the very start." The editor sounded detached, almost robot-like as she spoke. "Andrea, just go, please. I still have to go over the book and the girls will be home soon. I don't want to make a scene". Miranda took her glasses and the book from her nightstand and walked past Andy.

Andy grabbed her wrist and yanked Miranda back.

"You fucking coward. It's because I told you I loved you, isn't it?" Andy searched Miranda's eyes for the answer. "I know you've endured a lot, Miranda, and I won't make any promises, but please, just give us a fighting chance. I know you feel the same!"

Miranda snatched her arm back." I can't talk about this anymore. I need to work and I need you to go. Now." Andy wasn't prepared for that. She expected a fight, yelling, more arguing, but not a mere dismissal. 

"I'm going to leave before I say or do something I might regret. If you think we're done talking, you've got another fucking thing coming, Miranda!" Andy slammed the bedroom door and stormed out of the townhouse. 

Miranda fought the tears threatening to fall and slumped back agains the bed. Reminding herself that she was not alone yet, she sat up straight, her mask slammed back into place.

"Well, she sure has a mouth on her, doesn't she? By the way, I really like your closet, but do you really need all these clothes? Jesus, you could clothe a small country."

Miranda's face hardened as she got up. "As you can see, I have honored my side of the agreement. I think it's time for you to do the same. Not that you would know the meaning of the word." Miranda snarled at the man standing before her. An average Joe that wouldn't stand out in a crowd, she suppose that was exactly what he was hired for.

"Listen, lady, I'm just the messenger, ok? And as nice as I might seem, I'm not beyond hitting a woman. But you're right, you broke it off with the girl, so here you go. All of it is in there." The man threw a brown file on the bed and headed for the door.

"Wait", Miranda commanded. "Why her? Why not my money or my position or even my children?"

The man sighed and scratched his beard. "My client wants to see you suffer, his words, not mine. Believe me, he doesn't need more money or power. And he won't harm your kids, he has kids of his own, you know?" The man turned around and headed for the door. When the door slammed shut, Miranda finally let her tears fall freely.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, the truth will be revealed...

The camera's blinding flash kept Miranda grounded. This, she could do. The media frenzy would help her stay sharp. The sound of a hundred shutters accompanied the editor as she ascended the stairs. She kept walking at a leisurely pace, only stopping when she saw Juliana. She despised the woman, but Miranda wasn't stupid, she knew the woman served a purpose - one that will benefit Runway and tonight's gala.

"Miranda, good evening. You look absolutely stunning! Is that Valentino?" The reporter practically shoved the mic in Miranda's face, but the editor kept her cool.

"Yes, the one and only." From the corner of her eye, Miranda saw Nigel walking past her, up the stairs.

"Miranda, this year's theme is somewhat controversial. Can you elaborate, please?"

"At Runway, we are not afraid of pushing the boundaries, and if we were to break those boundaries, so be it. I work with a team of pioneers, so controversy is not uncommon in my world. If we've started a conversation, I'd say that's a job well done."

"And this is the Met's largest attendance since it's existence, how does that feel?"

"My team and I strive for the best, and I think people appreciate excellence. We are honored to have so many attendees here tonight."

Before the reporter could ask another question, Miranda quickly excused herself. She climbed the last of the stairs and entered the museum. The space inside was awash with color and music, and the rich and famous were in every corner of the room. But Miranda's eyes were searching for someone not so rich, and only slightly famous.

She prayed for divine intervention when she spotted Donatella, the blonde Italian who was at the moment, making a beeline for the editor.

"Miranda, darling. Everything looks amazing, as always. But cara mia, why am I sitting next to Taylor Swift? You know how I despise her!"

Miranda rolled her eyes when she gave Donatella a customary air kiss, glaring at Nigel as he smiled into his drink behind the eccentric woman's back.

"Darling, you know that Taylor is young, and that she could use a guiding hand, a friend that knows this industry. Was I wrong in thinking you were this person?"

Miranda did not have the strength for dramatics tonight. Her nerves were already shot to hell. Nigel quickly interjected, seeing as Miranda had that look on her face when she was about to murder someone.

"Excuse me for interrupting, ladies, but Miranda, I need your guidance on a matter, if you don't mind?"

Miranda sent Donatella on her way and gave Nigel a slight nod. This was the closest he would come to a "thank you" from the queen of fashion. He held out his arm and handed Miranda a glass of champagne as they walked in companionable silence, appreciating the beautifully decorated space.

"Well, darling, I'd say you did a wonderful job, but you already know that." When the woman didn't respond, Nigel stopped and looked at the editor. "What's going on with you tonight? You seem nervous? And usually it takes a few hours before you want to strangle Donatella?"

When she met his gaze, he knew something was up. Miranda's first instinct was to defend herself, but she quickly swallowed the snide comment. She took a deep breath and looked at Nigel. He knew about the pain she went through the couple of past years, and if she were honest with herself, she could use a friend tonight.

" _Darling, what's going on? What happened?"_

_In all the years they've known each other, Nigel has never seen Miranda this upset, or this drunk._

_"I've lost her Nigel, oh God." Miranda swayed on her feet and her clothes were disheveled. Mascara streaks stained the editor's face and she was shaking._

_"I've done something horrible, she'll never forgive me. She'll never forgive me..."_

And that's how Nigel heard the sorry tale of how Miranda Priestly, dragon lady extraordinaire, fell in love with lowly assistant, Andy Sachs. 

"She's coming tonight. Andrea... she has accepted my invitation."

Nigel was surprised, but he knew better than to let it show.

"Have you spoken with her? I mean, after that night?" Nigel wasn't sure how to broach the subject. Miranda told him about her love affair with the young woman, and how Irv blackmailed the editor, but it was still a touchy subject. He knew better than to poke the dragon with a stick.

"No, I never made contact after... that night. She tried. Many, many times, but I never..." the woman visibly swallowed and averted her eyes. Nigel could feel the shame and hurt radiating from Miranda.

"Miranda, you have to tell her. Irv's been dead for months now. You can try again, move on, surely?"

No one was particularly sad when they heard of Irv Ravits's unfortunate demise, but it was still a shock. Miranda and the Runway team were in a meeting when they received the news. It seemed that a life of excess finally claimed the 60-year old CEO. Too much stress, too much booze and whole lot of fried food. There was only so much a heart could take.

"I've waited too long, Nigel. I should've told her. We could have handled it together. I, I..."

Nigel took Miranda's hand and held it securely in his own. "You were trying to protect her."

Not trusting her voice, she only nodded. Miranda didn't want to think about all the mistakes she made, how she lost the love of her life. Tonight, she will face Andrea and try to break the ice. To show the woman that she was willing to have a conversation. An explanation and apology was long overdue, but Miranda wanted to take it slow - thus an invitation to the Met Gala. Mutual ground, so to speak.

"Don't worry about playing hostess tonight. Amal and I will keep the guests fed and entertained. Just talk to her." Nigel shook his head as a waiter offered them more champagne.

"Thank you, my friend." Miranda brought Nigel's hand to her lips and smiled as she witness his shocked expression.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 "Oh my God, you look amazing. I hate you. I absolutely loath you."

Emily looked at her former colleague and was amazed at how much the woman had changed. Andy's pixie style cut made her look older, sophisticated. The Valentino she wore hugged her figure in all the right places.

"It's good to see you, too." Andy smiled, she really missed the redhead. "God, Em. You look thin, like really thin. Still on that cheese diet?"

Emily rolled her eyes but Andy could see the comment pleased her. "Ugh, I can't stand the sight of cheese anymore. I'm on a popcorn diet, it's all the rage in Britain," the redhead said nonchalantly.

The moment Miranda saw Andrea, her heart stopped. There she was, so close. And so beautiful. Miranda didn't invite Andrea to the gala to make some sort of declaration of love, but God, she couldn't stop the emotions stirring inside of her. What if Andrea gave her a second chance? What if she was willing to try again? A flicker of hope settled inside of Miranda. Emily was talking to the young woman and she could see the amusement in Andrea's eyes. She walked up to the woman, not caring if she interrupted the happy reunion.

"Well, you're too thin," Andrea told Emily. "Let me buy you dinner, what do you say?"

But before Emily could reply, a voice interjected. "Emily, please deal with Donatella. If I speak to her right now, I will strangle her in front of everyone."

Emily didn't miss the look on Andy's face (or Miranda's, for that matter). Trepidation was visible on both faces. "Of course, Miranda. Andrea, call me about dinner. But I swear to God, if you take me to Burger King, I'll never forgive you."

The comment broke the heaviness in the air and Andy chuckled lightly.

"Well, she obviously missed you very much," the older woman drawled. Her heart was beating a mile a minute. How she missed Andrea's lovely face. She's seen the young writer's picture in various newspapers and magazines, but being this close after two years...

"The feeling is mutual. I never thought I'd say this, but Emily is one of the good ones. Hello, Miranda."

"Hello, Andrea. You look lovely tonight. Valentino always suited you." She couldn't help but notice that both their dresses came from the same collection. Together, they looked...complementary, almost like they planned it. Her heart clenched painfully.

"Thank you, as do you. Thank you for the invitation, we are very happy to be here tonight," the brunette replied.

We? Oh God. Of course Andrea would have someone accompany her tonight. Miranda steeled herself when she saw a handsome man walking towards them with two flutes of champagne.

"Here you go, honey. Oh, you must be Miranda Priestly. It's good to meet you. I'm David," the man held out his hand to Miranda.

"Good evening, David. I'm so glad you could join our little gathering tonight," Miranda was not glad, but she shook the proffered hand. She felt like a fool. There was no way in hell she was going to tell Andrea the real reason she kept the young woman at bay for two years. Andrea was in a relationship and Miranda will be damned if she was going to ruin it.

"Well, please enjoy the rest of your evening. Andrea, it was good to see you."

But before Miranda could make her escape, she felt a warm hand take hold of her wrist.

"Miranda, wait. I would like to talk to you, if you have a moment?" Andrea looked at Miranda, and the older woman knew she was screwed. How could she ever refuse this woman?

"Yes, of course." Miranda replied.

Andrea turned to David. "David, will you please excuse us for a moment?" The young man gave a slight nod and made his way to one of the exhibitions.

"Miranda, why am I here?" the young woman looked at Miranda without flinching. This was not the same girl from two years ago, Miranda thought, Andrea was always bold, but this woman was fearless.

"I don't think I understand the question, Andrea?" It wasn't one of Miranda's finest moments, but seeing as she was struggling to breath, she'd cut herself some slack.

"Miranda, please. Why am I here?" the brunette almost pleaded.

"I wanted to extend a hand of friendship..." the editor replied.

Andrea shook her head and her knuckles turned white as she grasped the glass in her hand. "You're joking, right? A hand of friendship?"

Miranda could see the anger in Andrea's eyes. "Andrea, I wanted to apologize. The way I handled things back then was... appalling. I never meant to hurt you. But I know this is not the time nor place for this conversation, I simply wanted to let you know that I am... amenable, if you were so inclined." There, she said her piece. Mission accomplished.

Andrea drew a shaky hand through her hair. "Amenable? You want to have a conversation NOW, after two years of complete silence? Un-fucking-believable!"

"Andrea, please, I don't want to upset you. I just wanted-"

Both woman suddenly felt a hand on their shoulder. "Six, good evening. Lovely to see you again, darling. Now, why don't you ladies take your discussion somewhere private. We don't want to cause a scene, now do we? Miranda, there's a office on the second floor, why don't you take Six upstairs and explain to her what exactly happened that night. Andy, you need to hear her out. I know you're angry, but she had a good reason for acting the way she did."

Nigel smiled sweetly when Miranda gave him a very, very cold look.

"Miranda, what the hell is Nigel talking about? He knew about us?"

Miranda watched Nigel retreat to a group of actors. She'll kill him, she'll strangle him with her bare hands. No, she'll fire him, and THEN she'll kill him. The editor did not want to have this discussion with Andrea's "love interest" close by. This wasn't part of the plan.

"Andrea, David is waiting for you. Go and enjoy the evening. We will talk when you are ready. Goodbye, Andrea."

The woman turned to leave, but Andy grabbed her arm again, her mouth dangerously close to the editor's ear. "You don't get to shut me out again, do you understand? You invited me tonight, so you will tell me exactly what Nigel meant. Don't fuck with me, Miranda, because I WILL cause a scene," Andy let go of Miranda and walked over to David.

The discussion lasted only a few moments. Miranda could't read his expression, but she knew he wasn't pleased. When David turned around to leave, Andy walked back to Miranda and waited.

"Very well, let's go," Miranda lead the woman to the elevator, feeling totally out of sorts, like she had no control over the situation. The elevator doors closed and she watched the little numbers on the elevator wall light up, thankful that she won't be in the confined space with Andrea for very long.

"When did you start swearing, Andrea? It's really unbecoming."

Andy gave a very unladylike snort. "Since I left Runway. That, and working in a newsroom with a bunch of pigs." Miranda could see a small smile tug on Andy's lips. Her very, lovely lips.

When they arrived on the second floor, Miranda opened the door to a large office. "Drink?" the editor offered, already pouring herself a large amount of Scotch.

"Yes, thank you. Whatever you're having is fine." Andy walked closer to Miranda, and took the proffered drink. She walked back to one of the chairs, sat down and looked at Miranda.

"So tell me about this David. Is he a good man?" Miranda wanted to kick herself. God, she was a glutton for punishment.

"Yes, he is. A very good man. We've been seeing each other for a few months now," the brunette replied.

"And what does he do?" Miranda asked before taking another gulp of Scotch.

"He's in banking," Andy said, looking at her drink. Miranda couldn't help but snort. Andrea was dating a banker?

"You know what, Miranda. He might not be up to your high and mighty standards, but when I phone, he answers. When I knock on his door, he actually opens it."

The editor visibly stiffened. It felt like a slap to the face. Andrea was right. "Andrea, I apologize, I don't want to fight."

"Then say what you have to say. I told David I'd meet him in a few hours."

Miranda swallowed the last of her drink and sat heavily on the couch opposite Andy. Now or never, she thought.

"Andrea, that night..." but the brunette didn't give her a chance to explain.

"When I said I loved you and you practically kicked met out of your house? And then refused to speak to me for two years? That night? I get it, Miranda. You didn't love me. I understand that now, but you could've had the decency of saying that to my face."

"No, Andrea, you don't understand at all."

But before the young woman could interject again, Miranda held up her hand. "Please, I need to explain, but you must realize, this isn't easy for me, either."

Andrea nodded in agreement and took a small sip from her drink.

"That night, the night we had that terrible argument, a man came into the house, he was there when you came home that night." Miranda saw the confusion on Andy's face.

"What? Miranda, what are you talking about?"

"Irv Ravits was blackmailing me, and he sent someone to the house. A man named Peter, obviously an alias, but this man made sure that I would "honor" my side of the agreement."

Miranda scoffed. "If you can even call it that. I didn't actually have a say in the matter, but I had to make a choice, and I did. As painful as it was, Andrea. I had to do it." Miranda was quickly losing her composure. The scotch wasn't helping either, but it didn't stop her from pouring another.

"Oh my God. There was actually someone in your house while I was there, shouting at you like a crazy person." Andrea took another swig of her drink and Miranda could see the cogs turning in the young woman's head. "But I still don't get it, Miranda, what does it have to do with me?"

"Everything, Andrea. It has everything to do with you..."

Miranda kicked off her shoes and folded her legs beneath her. She would make Andrea understand, consequences be damned.

"A Week before that night, I received an unmarked envelope at the office. The two Emily's had no idea how it got on my desk, but I knew exactly from who it was. It contained photos of you and me, of us...in compromising positions." Miranda could see the shock on Andrea's face.

"So Irv threatened to expose us? So what? I wasn't working for you at the time, what harm could he do?" the young woman stood up and helped herself to another drink.

"That's exactly what I told him when I stormed into his office that very same day. I think he was shocked when I so ardently defended our relationship. He had no more cards to play when I told him I was in love with you."

Miranda couldn't look at Andrea when she said it, but she heard the shocked gasp falling from the young woman's lips.

"Miranda..." Miranda finally had the courage to look Andrea in the eye, but she didn't give the young woman time to respond. She had to finish this.

"Andrea, that was my first mistake, I underestimated Irv. I had a meeting with the shareholders before I received the envelope. We were going to vote for Irv's removal as CEO of Elias Clark in the days to follow. This was something I orchestrated after we arrived back from Paris, and Irv obviously found out about my little coup."

"Jesus, Miranda, why didn't you tell me?" Andrea was upset, but Miranda kept going.

"There were so many things I didn't tell you. That night when Peter came by the house, I was blissfully ignorant. I would finally be rid of Irv - the voting mere hours away, and you were spending the night. I couldn't wait to make love to you. I came rushing to the door when I heard the lock, thinking it was you. But it wasn't you, it was Peter. There he was, this stranger in my house. At first I thought it was a mistake, but it soon became very clear why he was there."

Miranda carefully unfolded her legs and put both feet beside her heels on the floor. She rested her elbows on her legs while tears threatened to fall. "God, I was so scared. He said he would give me the negatives if I backed off, if I didn't vote against Irv. I told him I didn't care, that I would send the damn photos to page six myself. But Andrea, it wasn't really about the photographs. And I was so glad my babies weren't in the house. That you weren't there. I..."

Miranda felt warm hands on her face, a thumb wiping at the tears she spilled. Andy was sitting on the floor in front of Miranda.

"Miranda. What did he do? What did he do to you?" Tears were falling from Andy's eyes, but she didn't let go of Miranda's face.

"No, he didn't touch me. But Andrea, he knew what my weakness was, Irv, knew exactly how to hurt me."

"What did he do, Miranda?" Andrea held her closer, her face inches away from the editor's. Miranda could see the panic in Andrea's eyes.

"You, Andrea, it's always been you. YOU are my Achilles heel. That's why I told you to leave, I had to get you out of that house. He was going to hurt you, Andrea. I wanted to tell you, but I was so scared. He said that he would make your life a living hell, that... that he..." Miranda couldn't say the words. She couldn't think about those horrible words.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry, Miranda, I'm so sorry." The truth was out. Finally. Andy and Miranda held on to one another as they mourned the time they had lost. Miranda held Andrea close, relief flowing through her.

But then she remembered David, and that Andy wasn't free to be with her. Everything suddenly became too much. Andrea's touch and the way she smelled, the loss of their relationship and the loneliness without her. It all came crashing down and Miranda had to get out.

She quickly got up and headed for the door, but Andy quickly intercepted her. She pushed the editor against the door. "No, you don't get to walk away. Not again," she crushed their lips together and grab hold of Miranda's hips.

The older woman responded in kind and shoved her tongue into Andy's mouth. Both women moaned when their tongues collided. Andy pushed Miranda's dress up to her waist and cupped her between her legs. The editor arched into the touch and gasped when the brunette made quick work of the silk she found beneath her fingers. Andy forcefully pressed two fingers inside of the older woman, thrusting hard and deep. Miranda cried out, relishing the pain. Tears were still spilling from Andrea's eyes, but she could't look at Miranda. The editor grabbed hold of the brunette's face and held her gaze.

"The hardest thing I ever had to do, was to let go of you. I loved you very much, I still do."

Andrea increased her speed and added another finger. Miranda lost all ability to speak and let her head fall against the door, exposing her neck. She came with a cry as Andy sucked on her pulse point. When Miranda came down from her high, she looked at Andy, but the young woman hid her face in the crook of Miranda's neck.

"Why did you tell me, Miranda. Why after all this time," she whispered.

Miranda pulled Andy's face to her own, softly brushing their lips together. "Because Irv is dead and Peter is in jail. And because I wanted you to understand, I wanted you to know that you were loved. That you were enough."

Andy slowly let go of Miranda, kissing the editor's cheek. "I... I have to go. David is waiting for me."

Andy quickly slipped past Miranda, shutting the door behind her. And just like that, Miranda was alone, again.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"Jesus, what time is it?" Nigel said in lieu of a greeting. His phone's incessant ringing waking him from deep slumber.

"Time to get up. I'm sending breakfast and other provisions. Someone should be at your door in a few minutes," Miranda said.

"Miranda, what's happened? Is someone dead? Did you murder someone?" Nigel couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"No, not yet. I just, I wanted to thank you. For last night. For handling the gala and the investors. I am deeply impressed and it will not be forgotten. Take the day off. That's all."

Will wonders never cease?

Miranda walked to the kitchen and switched on the coffee machine. But before she could get a cup from the cupboard, there was a knock on the door. She could't help the slight panic making it's way up her spine, but she breathed deeply and told herself that she was safe. The security team she had on stand-by helped ease her fears. She was surprised when she saw Andy Sachs, writer extraordinaire on the monitor screen.

"Let her in, Charles," the older woman said into the speaker. Miranda opened the door to let Andy in.

"Andrea, please come in." Miranda could see the dark circles under the brunette's eyes. Thankful that she wasn't the only one forgoing sleep.

"Good morning, Miranda."

"Would you like some coffee?" the older woman lead Andrea into the kitchen, and smiled when the brunette practically foamed at the mouth when the rich aroma made it's way to her nose. Some things never change.

"I wanted to apologize for leaving so abruptly last night. I just, I needed some space to think. And I had to talk to David."

Andrea wasn't looking at Miranda when she spoke. "How did Irv die?"

Miranda wasn't expecting the question, but she wasn't really surprised. Andrea needed facts to clearly see and understand things.

"The job he would hurt and kill for, killed him in the end. Heart attack. Isn't life poetic sometimes?"

Miranda looked at Andrea and all her fears seem to evaporate. For the first time in a really long time, she felt as if though she could see things clearly too.

"Do you love David?" she asked Andy. With the same tone you would ask someone about the weather. 

"No," Andy replied. Her tone matching Miranda's.

"Do you love me?" Miranda asked again.

"Yes, very much," this time, Andy looked Miranda straight in the eye. Her gaze not wavering for a second.

"Good," Miranda replied. "Now drink your coffee..."


End file.
